Breast cancer, any cancer or major illness, is a serious thing. It’s life and death….literally. But there are some things that you have to be able to laugh through. It’s the only way I can get through life. So I’ve put together some of the funnier things I’ve gone through….specifically with my boob. Even more specifically….the really real prosthesis that fills out the left cup of my bra. Oh…..how many things can happen with a boob you can remove? Here are some….and I must warn you. This involves boob issues…..so you know….just be aware!
I have caught my lovely children playing with my boob. Hot potato? Yep! Keep away? Of course! Pillow? Why not? They have also worn it….which is just disturbing to see, but also hilarious!
What is the strangest reason you’ve called in sick to work? Was it a burst boob? So anyone who has a breast prosthesis knows that they don’t last forever. And you also know that they can be expensive and insurance isn’t always so generous. So you wear those things as long as you can! But….they can fall apart. Or come apart…and that happened to me. Of course I used duct tape to fix it! The seem was coming apart and I fixed it. And that lasted me a while….but not long enough. So this particular morning I was getting ready and noticed my bra was completely soaked. Of course I was rational and assumed that my breast was leaking and my cancer was back. I called in to the doctor’s emergency line and relayed my awful situation. They promised they would contact the doctor on call and they would get back to me. So I sat and waited for the call….patiently…..and started inspecting my clothing and bra. It was then I discovered that my “boob” had come untaped and started oozing it’s goo. I felt so embarrassed. I had to call back and explain to the poor girl on the emergency line the real issue….we laughed together. Then I had to call my supervisor and let her know I would be super late to work as I had to fix this issue. I really did tell her my boob burst and I would be late. Thankfully we are friends and this has become a running joke. She will still tell anyone it’s the strangest and most unique reason she’s ever received for a call in! I would like to say I learned to not be so paranoid and jump to the worst conclusion…..but you will learn that I never learn those lessons 🙂
Another issue some of us deal with is the special bras you need to wear with your fake boobs. They have pockets to hold it in, but some of us go through periods of time where we do not want to wear them. When you are used to your cute bras, it’s hard to deal with that reality. Especially for anyone who is younger. I went through this as well, and would buy any cute bra that I could that was cute and would fit my rather large prosthesis. This worked….ok. Sometimes I’d have mishaps…..like when I tried to do a cartwheel in my front yard and it fell out. Or any other time I did something crazy and it almost fell out or I had to tuck it back in. But there are two specific times I recall that are even better. One involved a certain street dance and maybe a little bit of grownup drinking. And a dare. Any time it comes up that I’ve had breast cancer and I also have my removable boob, it becomes an interesting topic. Having a great time with great people, and this comes up…..I at one point get dared to not only whip it out…..but slap someone in the face with it. It’s not a scenario many people find themselves in…..and feeling a bit brave that night, I actually did it. The look on his face was priceless, and of course we all laughed about it forever!
The next second instance was during one of my times at Bonnaroo! If you aren’t familiar with it, it’s basically an outdoor music festival in Tennessee. There are people of all kinds, music of all kinds, and events of all kinds. During one afternoon I was so excited to see the amazing Brandi Carlile. I ended up heading that way by myself, which was fine. We had rented an RV for the trip, so I was walking past all the other RVs on my way. Up ahead I could see a very active group at an RV parked along the side. This isn’t unusual, so I didn’t think much until I heard the group. A guy with a megaphone yelling to all the girls passing by to “show us your boobs!” Uh oh. Surely….they would ignore me….as I was not all that young looking…ahem….or someone who you would think that get’s asked that question. As I got closer I saw more of the group. Early 20’s, good-looking guys and girls, getting all kinds of responses. They had beads to pass out too. I was getting nervous. I had a cute sundress and was not wearing a pocketed bra. I just wanted to pass by and get to my show. But you know that’s not where this story is going….so of course I get there and get the megaphone to my ear, “show us your boobs!” I panicked. I said, well, they aren’t real. Partly true, right? So the cute little thing passing out the beads said, don’t worry, mine aren’t either!! And that was it. I ripped it out of my bra and held it up. The looks on their faces was so worth it. The poor guy didn’t know what he was asking 😉 He said…you weren’t lying! I was laughing so hard! And I laughed all the way to the concert wearing my beads 🙂
I’ve learned to laugh during my life. It would be so easy to let everything get to me and give in to the darkness…..but I choose to see the humor, find something to laugh about. I don’t always, and I don’t make jokes out of inappropriate times….but I also couldn’t get through everything I’ve been through without keeping my sense of humor. I was told once by a friend that her parents thought I was immature because I laughed all the time. I look back on that and find it sad. I’m thankful that in some of the hardest times…..I’ve been able face it because I can still laugh.
Do you have anything similar to share? Feel free to comment!